


Happy Birthday, Baby Boy

by SpicyRedPaladin



Series: Push Me to the Edge [6]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Drunk Carl, Drunk Kissing, Fatherly Negan, Good Big Brother Carl, M/M, Remorseful Carl, The Feelsy Start, Underage Drinking, drunk talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 19:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11584731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyRedPaladin/pseuds/SpicyRedPaladin
Summary: Carl felt as thought his heart would break in two. And just when it was about to, hope.





	Happy Birthday, Baby Boy

**Author's Note:**

> I know I said it would be here hours ago. I actually rewrote more than half of the chapter. I am much more satisfied with it now!

Dear Dad.

I don't really know how to write a letter, but Amber said all I have to do is just talk. But I'm not actually writing, so I don't know if this counts. Judith and I are doing fine at Alexandria. Michonne didn't even try to put up a fight, but I could tell she wanted to. I take her to see everyone whenever we go back. The women here love Judith. There's always someone who wants to hold her or help change diapers or give her baths, mostly Negan's wives. Really, everyone here loves her. Especially Negan. He loves her most of all. Maybe even more than me. I really think she's going to like it here.

We're not as hard on Alexandria anymore. We fixed the breach in the wall, and replaced several other weak spots. I feel like it's the only way I can make up for what I did. I'm so sorry, dad. I never meant to hurt you. Never meant to kill you. I was just so angry. I was upset because Judith was in danger. I know it's too late, but I hope that, where ever you are, you can forgive me. Maybe after I die, we'll see each other again. Maybe we get 'reincarnated'. I learned that word from Father Gabriel the last time we went to Alexandria. He said it means that once you die, you come back in another body. Maybe I'll be your son again. I promise I'll do so much better if I am.

Judith is crying. Maybe I'll think up another letter for you. I'm sorry dad. I love you.

~

Carl lifted Judith from her crib, bouncing her gently on his shoulder. He was a bit proud of himself or finally writing a letter to his dad, even if was only in his head. The young man patted his little sister's back, singing softly to her. He had learned several lullabies from Amber, one of Negan's wives. Of all of them, she was the nicest, offering to take care of Judith at night so that Negan's sleep wouldn't be disturbed.

Not that Negan would mind. He adored Judith, doted on her like a grandpa. He even cut down his swearing around her. To say that no one was impressed would be a lie. The man's moods had improved greatly since the baby had come to Sanctuary, to the point where he let people he should have punished off with warning. Carl was happy with the change, though he had liked cruel Negan just as well.

There was something else though, that the teen just couldn't put his finger on. A tightness in his chest every time he saw Negan holding Judith or whenever he was the receiver of one of the man's dazzling grins. As though the world had become brighter, but he was stuck behind solid walls. It confused him. Of course, he didn't only feel that strange sensation at those times. Whenever he saw a woman flirting with Negan, or when he saw him disappearing somewhere with one of his wives, his chest would feel tight.

However, he always busied himself with his little sister when he felt anything like that. She really was the light of his life, a bubbly little angel in the putrid hell-scape the world had become. She was getting bigger now that they were under Negan's care. The man had made sure she had all she needed, and the same went for Carl. He could no longer feel his ribs protruding through his clothes, and his hips were no longer like knives. Hell, he might even be nice to hug now instead of a bony mess. Not that he had anyone in particular who he though wanted to hug him.

Carl changed Judith's diaper and fed her before carrying her around. Judith loved getting to see everyone, and mostly everyone loved seeing her. As he passed Negan's wives' quarters, he noticed Amber and Sherry talking amongst themselves. Amber noticed him and waved him in, taking Judith off his hands. He accepted the help, tired from taking care of her almost constantly. He headed back towards his and Negan's room, desperately needing a nap, but sighed softly when he saw the red cord Negan wrapped around the knob when he had a 'guest'.

The boy made his way up to the roof, finding a sunny spot to stretch out on. He fell asleep there, listening to the distant sounds of birds and the low buzz of life in the yard of the compound. When he woke up, he was in bed, the blankets pulled up around him. He sat up, running a hand over his face and through his hair. "Mm...?"

Negan looked over from the window. "You awake? I don't know what the hell possessed you to take a nap on the roof."

The boy blushed and swung his legs off the bed. "Probably the fact that you had 'company'."

The man laughed a bit. "I made soup. Go on and eat. I'm headed to the bar." He stood and started walking towards the door before stopping half-way through the room. "Hey, everything okay with you?"

Carl raised an eyebrow, feeling his face warm up at the show of concern. "I guess? I mean, as well as a guy can do after he's killed his dad." He shrugged. "I'm kinda tired I suppose, but I've been taking care of Judith all the time unless Amber's got her."

Negan nodded. "Rest for a while, then. You're no good to me if you're tired all the time. Even if it's cause you got the little angel."

The teen sighed. "Negan, when are we gonna stop this shit? It's fun and all but I'm getting sick and tired of playing domestic." 

His remark was brought on by a laugh. "This is domestic for you? Sleeping in bed with a guy who killed some of your buddies and taking care of your orphan little sister? Killing zombies every once and a while and taking people's shit every so often?" He turned to face Carl, striding over to him. "Say, why don't we play house if this is so damn domestic. You can be mommy and I'll be daddy."

Carl glared at him, his cheeks flushing red, and got up. "Not funny. Why do have to be such an asshole?"

Negan caught him by the arm as he brushed past, pulling him a bit closer. "Aw, but you love me for it. After all, aren't I your asshole?" The words felt like a trap. He didn't want to admit that he thought of Negan as being his asshole. How did the man even know about that? Carl's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"That's not funny, Negan. Let go. Or do you not want me to eat your damn soup?"

He was released and went over to the stove. Negan leaned again the bedpost, watching the boy eat. Carl felt his chest growing tight again. He could barely force himself to eat under the pressure of his gaze. Finally, the silence broke.

"When was your birthday?"

The question caught the teen off guard. "It was in January? Why is that important all of a sudden?"

A shrug was his only answer. Carl wrinkled his nose and finished eating. Now that he thought about it, he was eighteen now.

Negan made a soft noise of contemplation. "Well hell, you're, what, about eighteen now? Fuck it, come down to the bar. I'll actually let you drink this time."

Carl raised an eyebrow. The last time Negan had dragged him to the bar, he'd been given water while Negan got so drunk the teen had to ask for Dwight's help carrying him back. After a moment of thought, he sighed. "Why the hell not?"

The man grinned and punched his boy's shoulder playfully. "That's what I'm fuckin' talking about! C'mon, _man_."

The new nickname earned a scowl. "No. Just call me kid. You do that again, I'm feeding your guts to a walker."

This empty threat brought forth a raucous laugh. "You do that, you can be number one. Ain't nobody gonna stop ya if you can fuckin' take me down." He looked over with a grin. "But hey, just remember that if you don't finish the damn job, Lucille's gonna get herself a drink."

Carl smiled and got up, following Negan out of the room. He couldn't express how glad he was that he and Negan had fallen back into the easy-going relationship he was used to. He had a sneaking feeling that he wouldn't have as bad of a problem with Negan's flirtatious ways tonight.

The bar was full like usual. Mostly men with a few women, the latter of which turned their attention to Negan the moment the pair entered. However, Negan's attention was all on Carl. He announced that tonight they would be celebrating his entry to manhood, ordered something strong and straight for Carl to drink, and made everyone sing happy birthday to him while he tried to down it.

He gagged once he finished the drink and Negan lead a round of cheers before ordering the boy something less mature. Carl gave him a halfhearted glare. He jokingly told the bartender to get Negan something girly, earning another laugh from the leader. "Shit, kid. Know what, you dictate my drinks tonight and I dictate yours."

The two drank together for a good hour and a half. Negan decided they should call it quits, stating that Carl would be hard enough to carry with just the younger being smashed. Negan hoisted the laughing boy onto his back. He had been thrilled to discover just how far out of his shell Carl came after only a few drinks.

The newly made man fell from Negan's back onto the bed, laughing as he bounced. "Neegs! 'Sh a tram'line!" He laughed more at his joke, rolling around. Negan shook his head, smiling and helping wrestle the writhing youth from his clothes. He stopped once Carl was down to his boxers and t-shirt. His drunk mind urged him to keep going. Letting Carl picked his drinks, because after the first forty-five minutes he'd stopped ordering for the man, leaving some of his sanity in tact.

He sighed and tucked Carl into the blankets so he couldn't fall off the bed before going to shower. He thought about the boy curled up in his bed. Hell, he always thought about that boy. Couldn't stop thinking about him. Even when he was having sex with him wives, he thought of Carl. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually envisioned the woman he was sleeping with instead of his charge. He leaned against the wall of the shower, letting the water wash away the stench from the bar.

Once he was satisfied with his level of cleanliness, he stepped out to dry off. Realizing he'd forgotten to bring a change of clothes, he sighed and wrapped the towel around his waist, heading back to find some clothes. When he entered the bedroom, he noticed that the boy had freed himself and was curled around a pillow, staring wide eyed. He chuckled and went over to the dresser. He heard Carl make a noise and rolled his eyes, heading over and sitting down. "What was that, baby boy? You gotta use your words."

Carl smiled and giggled, actually giggled, looking up at him with rosy cheeks and half-lidded eyes. "Lay dooown! Bed'sh low-nyy!" The youth grabbed his arms and pulled him down. Negan followed the tug, smiling and touching his cheek. "Hey there, drunk cutie.. God it's fuckin' good you won't remember this.." Carl giggled again, snuggling him. "Neeegsy, you gotta kissh me to sshleep!"

The man pondered the request before smiling and leaning in, kissing him slowly. He felt Carl melt beneath him, his mouth opening enough for Negan to slip his tongue in. He tasted the mix of alcohol and the raw flavor of Carl. He pulled away as he felt Carl drift off to sleep, chuckling to himself.

Negan put on a pair of sweatpants and crawled into bed, holding the boy close and closed his eyes. He let himself drift off beside the young man, letting his guard down for the night.

He hoped with all his heart that Carl would still be there in the morning.

 


End file.
